Sunday, June 26, 2011

Ambiguous behaviors

Reply: defines ambiguous as, "the lack of information regarding the feelings or intentions. If your spouse behaviors are ambiguous, constantly receiving contradictory messages. More than likely you spend a great deal of time trying to figure out what was meant with certain words or actions.

Ambiguity is often a section that is in a passive aggressive person. Omitting constantly express honestly what they are feeling and thinking evil the passive aggressive. It is impossible to work through conflicts with anyone that sends information insufficient and unclear.

Being in a relationship with someone who is unable or does not open and honest about how they are feeling or what they think will anxiously wondering what are the intentions of your spouse. You end up tempted to themselves or to question the commitment of your spouse relationship. Below are some examples of ambiguous behaviors.

John is a very loving husband. He holds the hand of Jane and cuddling with her on the couch. Get John into the bedroom, though it's hands off. He is all Jane in the kitchen, but doesn't even seem to realize that she shares the same bed with him. John is sending mixed messages ambiguous, Jane. Jane begins to feel paranoid. Because you don't want sex with me? He is having sex with another woman?

More than likely that John is faithful to her wedding, but having mixed feelings towards his wife. Can't come out and express his negative feelings honestly so he expresses rejecting her sexually. Instead of opening up about his negative feelings and find a solution that will strengthen the relationship, John is choosing subconsciously to do with his negative emotions to punish Jane. Not only are his negative feelings hurt the relationship, but the way that he deals with those feelings to further damage.

June is upset with Jake above an unkind remark that he made to her. June tells Jake that his feelings were hurt when she said that the House wasn't quite tidy and spent his days of wasting time. Jake responds to June saying: "well" and walks away. June is left to wonder what "good". Jake will not mean longer comments rude do? It means that Jake could care less if your feelings were hurt or not?

June has no way of knowing whether she was heard by Jake or whether her feelings are important for Jake. June of course begin to make assumptions about Jakes feelings for her, and you can bet that these assumptions will be negative.

Jill and Joe spoke of buying a new car for several months. Joe wants to buy a car and Jill Jill has a definitive opinion on which car he wants. One day Joe arrives home with a new car. Not that he wanted Jill but a machine which Joe felt was more appropriate.

Joe was willing to discuss what kind of car they could buy, but when it came to take the final decision, Jill has closed. He sent Jill a message even though you may have an opinion, not those opinions were of any value of Joe.

The only thing that is common in all three examples is the devaluation of the feelings from a spouse. The spouse whose behaviors are ambiguous and not only devalues their feelings are those of their spouse devalue. When a spouse begins to hear his thoughts or opinions are of no value begin to withdraw from the relationship. They are, after all in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care so why you should care.

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