This first step is an emotional. Is the step that we must take the decision to divorce. The first thing you should ask yourself is do you really want a divorce. Next, you must make sure that you have done everything they can to try to solve the problems in your marriage and retrieve the relationship with your spouse.
I firmly believe that if you have children you are morally obligated to do everything they can to save your marriage. Divorce is not a decision to make lightly, is not a decision that you make when feeling too stressed and not a decision to make if you are dealing with depression. My sincere advise anyone thinking about divorce is primarily seek couples counseling, speaking with his clergy, talk with your spouse about problems like to see them and be prepared to work on your marriage before walking away from the marriage of savings.
We live in a throw away society. We have become people that when the going gets tough. Unless you are suffering abuse or serial infidelity the commitment you made to your spouse and the marriage should be the most important thing in your life. Should be the thing that you work hard to maintain.