Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Divorce tips

By: James J. Gross

Once you decide that you want to get a divorce, there are eleven things you can do to be ready:

Start a war:

You're going to need your money for a divorce. You will be able to keep yourself and your children for a while, if you depend on your spouse and your spouse decides to cut support.

You'll probably also need funds to hire a lawyer. If there is anyway to start a separate account to guard against future financial contingencies, now is the time to do so. If you need to borrow money from a relative or a friend, be sure to sign a promissory note so the Court will look at this as a loan that you must repay and not as a gift.

Keep a calendar of divorce:

If you are using currently a day planner or calendar desk, now you will need to include your event of divorce. There will be meetings with your lawyer and short deadlines to keep track of. It may be useful to keep track of discussions with your spouse.

A calendar of divorce can be used as evidence in your case when the spouse does not keep an appointment or violated an agreement or a court order in some way. Dates of Visitation with children need to be catalogued. You also want to keep track of appointments with your children, teachers, doctors, coaches and mentors. This may be the proof of your participation in the lives of your children in your divorce.

Make a list:

You will need to stay organized and set your priorities during a divorce. This is the easiest way to do it. Lists all the items that you must make and mark them as you go through them.

Prepare a Notebook of divorce:

A divorce produces a lot of paperwork. It comes to you in a snowstorm. The easiest way to keep track of all these documents is a three ring binder and a handful of three holes. Two papers in chronological order and an index.

Set a File for divorce:

You may prefer to create individual files for various categories of divorce papers. Examples include correspondence with your lawyer, drafts of the agreements, financial information and memories. Files with brads and a Perforator two will help keep your documents orderly and organized.

Cut costs:

If you have debt in your name, such as credit cards or student loans, you want to pay those debts down as much as possible before a divorce. If your family is like most American families have been spending close to your entire income, if not more, and when a family becomes two, there will be enough money to pay the costs of both, unless something changes.

You may need to cut costs, sell your car and get a less expensive model or perhaps sell the House. If your spouse does not support voluntarily and children, the remedy is to ask the Court to order support. You will not have a good view of all this and do not know the answers for sure until an agreement is signed, or the judge makes a ruling. But the point is to consider and identify problems and possible solutions. Then take the actions you can take and avoid missteps.

Stick to a Routine: Help if you try to keep things as normal as possible in your life. Don't skip meals or change sleep habits. Positive routines, such as the use of your list and calendar will help keep the focus. Exercise is always a great way to relieve stress. Try not to isolate yourself from your friends. Be constructive:

Try to keep a positive perspective and do not be lured into unnecessary conflicts with your spouse. You'll need your signature on a settlement before the divorce is finished. You will still be parents together for years after the divorce.

Make a plan:

Take one day at a time. Focus on the present and the past. Try to check only those things within the control. Many things in a divorce are outside of your control. Try not to blow things out of proportion. Make a plan. Then continue to work the plan. Here's how to take control of your divorce and not let it take control of you.

Gather financial information:

How much more you can organize your own financial documents, the more you reduce your expenses and improve your chances of success. Are going to have to collect and organize lots of information for your lawyer or your case. A good way to organize information found is a financial statement which can be used as a checklist.

Many courts have a financial report form available at the Office of the Registrar of the Court and times online. If you can get this form and fill it out, will help you collect and organize your financial information. Give your lawyer at the first meeting to save time and costs.

Do your research:

It is valuable to learn everything you can about the divorce at the beginning of the process. If you know little or nothing about the process, you may not make the best decisions or choices. Most people are uncomfortable with the unknown. You can raise your level of comfort and your chances of success to discover what's going to happen before it happens. The Internet is a convenient way to obtain summary and detailed information about the divorce.

Of course there are other ways to research the subject. You can start your research at a library or a bookstore. There are seminars and support groups. Talk with friends who have gone through a divorce. But, keep in mind that each divorce is different. It is a good idea to know the basics of the law in your state early in the process of divorce.

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