Monday, April 25, 2011

Life after divorce

You've gone through the process of divorce. You have taken care of all legal and financial issues. Now you face, finally the emotional problems of healing. What you feel?

Post divorce emotions can range from feelings of insecurity, confusion, anger, ambivalence, and in some cases shear relief. Life as we know it is over and now you have the job of building a new life. This requires work, internal and external work.

To set your world just outside it may be necessary to find a new home, build new friendships, start a new career or learn to live life as a single parent. The inside job consists of treating and working through any left over attachments to your ex. You may need to work through problems with anger over an unwanted divorce. You can experience fear the idea of living without a spouse who was once a sense of security. Whatever you have to do with either externally or internally, it is necessary to develop certain skills to help you in your transition to a new life.

Here are three skills that will help you to rebuild after a time of adversity:


Be willing to share that feeling and experiencing emotionally with others. If talking through our feelings did not help the healing process there would not be so many therapists in the business. Stay open and honest with friends and family. Share details of your emotions promotes healing.


Moving forward with your life means having the will to act. On days that they would rather pull the covers over your head, force yourself out of bed. Put one foot in front of others because every movement is moving forward and is in a direction that you want to move forward. Get up, go ahead and get on with your life. Start with small steps, and will soon be moving forward by leaps and bounds.


There is no healing without the belief that he can heal. Belief in ourselves and our ability to weather any storm is our greatest tool when it comes to move through a time of adversity. Be patient, kind and loving with yourself. Push any insecurities you aside and believe in its jurisdiction. If the odds seem against you, if you feel that you aren't going to do, go against the odds. Develop discipline, push all negative self-talk freaked out and believe that we can become who you want and live the life you want.

Hone your new skills; make it part of your daily life. Opening, action and belief in yourself and never fail to take you through adversity in your life. One day you'll look back and realize that all the pain and challenges you have experienced during the divorce gave way to some of your greatest accomplishment.

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