Sunday, April 24, 2011

Love is not the solution to marital problems

I had an "aha" moment the other day, when talking to a client to find a solution to his marital problems. She had a list of "things", which has made her irritating. None of which were worth ending a marriage and the dismantling of a family.

Then she says to me, "I'm not in love with him." And it struck me, was not able to see the solution of the problem, because she was basing her desire to divorce on a feeling ... the feeling of romantic love. I began immediately to hum the old song, "What's Love Got to do with" and wondering why people expect to marry and to feel constantly "in love".

There is a difference between romantic love and love involved. Nearly 30 years ago, Elaine Hatfield wrote a book (A New Look at Love) on the theme of love in which she compared and contrasted with the idea of "passionate love and companionate love."... .post continued


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